Under Grace

Chopin's Charm

2010-12-27T21:54:00.000-08:00

For the last few days, I can't stop listening to Chopin's Ballade No.1, Op.23.

Growing up I was never a fan of Chopin's work. I played quite a lot of his waltzes but otherwise had very narrow exposure of his music. Also I was going through a rebellious feminist phase, turned off by anything romantic. So I discounted his music as "nice background music" and never explore further.

As I return to practicing the piano, I attempt some of his Etudes to improve my technique, and ended up falling in love with Op. 10 No. 9. If he could write an exercise piece that breaks my heart (take that Hanon!), what else he could do? Browsing through my current favorite pianist's work I found the ballades, and I'm still at No. 1.

Well it is anything but background music. Its dramatic narration is at times melancholy, reflective, and at times hopeful. It grabs your heart to a stormy journey and leaves you with a maddening ending.

I'm sure my inclination to repeat listening is partly due to my obsessive nature. But the popularity of this piece has proven that I'm not the only one drawn to it. Now I have to scour other interpretations of the piece to compare. Maybe next year I'll be able to move on to Ballade No. 2.

Giver of Music

2010-12-25T13:55:00.000-08:00

It's Christmas day and gifts galore. As I reminded my boys to write thank you cards, I found out I need to examine my own thankfulness as well.

Since my "obsession du jour" has been piano playing and classical music, I realize I haven't been thankful to God for my ability to both play and enjoy. I have been constantly coveting the technique, musicality and even the big hands of various concert pianists. And don't get me started on child prodigies!

Granted, my talent has nothing worth bragging about, but what a gift it is to be able to make music on a beautiful instrument. From the interpretations of virtuoso pianists like Richter, Argerich, Horowitz, Kempff and more recently, Kempf, I get to appreciate Bach's earnestness, Beethoven's fiery passion and Chopin's poetic sensitivity, (Thank you YouTube!)

So I'll never be a concert pianist. But even if I'll never be able to play Rachmaninoff's fat chords, Chopin's Etudes in the speed of lightning, or even finish playing the 1st Movement of Pathétique without my left hand falling off, (those pesky tremolos!) I'm tremendously and undeservingly blessed with the beauty of music in my life.

And do I need to be reminded, on Christmas day, that the greatest gift we have is Jesus who was born unto us, to live a perfect life to cloak us with His righteousness, and to die to paid the penalty of our sins? Actually, I do.

"For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace" Isaiah 9:6

My Air Pianist

2010-12-22T19:12:00.000-08:00

Whose 4-year-old boy would throw a big fit because he fell asleep in the van and missed listening to Beethoven's CD? Well, mine would. And I don't know any other child who would dash to the CD player once we got home to jam to Sonata Pathétique, playing air piano and trying to bounce his hair, imitating his favorite pianist. Bravo my boy. Bravo.

Back to Tickling the Ivories

2010-12-18T18:09:00.001-08:00

Recently I've return to playing the piano after more than a 15-year hiatus. This is a significant event for me. Since I thought I left that life 20 years ago.

Throughout my years in elementary through high school, I was known in schools for my piano playing. I accompanied for years for choirs in schools, played Catholic masses every week for 6 years, even played for two weddings for my high school teachers, which were supreme honors. My reputations was hinged on my playing, and unsurprisingly, my head got pretty big in those years.

Then came college away from home. I had picked a practical field to major in, but of course I have to check out the music department. There I heard freshmen students practicing, and I was floored by how good they were, and more importantly, how much they were better than me. I realized I wasn't as talented as I, or people around me thought. But I wasn't as crushed as I thought I would. After years of stressful piano exams, competitions and reputation-maintaining, I was ready to move on and explore other interests. And eventually I changed my major to a field I'd never get a job in, and had a great time taking fun classes with hefty tuition paid by my dad.

From time to time I'd stopped by the practice rooms and banged out a few pieces, but that bought me very little joy. Because unless I managed to sneak into an unlock room with a grand piano for graduate students, the rooms for the "mortals" are stuffy tiny boxes with falling apart unknown brand pianos, with sticky and out of tune keys. The walls are filled with graffiti, either of pretentious poetry, or lusting of the department's only cute professor. I don't think I was ever there for more than a half hour at a time.

Then come graduation, jobs, moving, getting married, having kids. In other words, life. I didn't have access to a piano all those time, and even on the back of my mind I always thought I'd get a piano someday, I never thought I'd go back to it as intense as it is.

to be continued...

The Practice of Piety/Spiritual Discipline

2010-07-28T20:17:00.000-07:00

Lessons learned and reflections from Tabletalk Issue July 2010

We're saved/justified by faith, not by our works, but the work of Jesus Christ. (Ephesians 2:8-9, out of many, many verses that said the same thing) But throughout the ages, the people of God have recognized that the pursuit of the Lord is not a passive endeavor. It requires our effort, and we must WORK to know the Lord is we are to deepen our relationship with Him.

While aspects of personal piety ("piety" means religious devotion?) , such as music, prayer, Bible study, meditation and more are not what save us, God has purposes in giving us these spiritual exercises.

"Growth in grace is a lifetime process, aided by several spiritual disciplines outlined in sacred Scripture" (Tabletalk July 2010 p.29)

Salvation in History

2010-03-29T12:03:00.000-07:00

Lessons and reflections from Tabletalk, issue March 2010

The salvation that Christianity proclaims is a salvation grounded in history. God enters into history, or I should say God create history, and work through real people, institutions, and events to save His people.

Through studying the Old Testament, we can see how Christ and His church are promised, through people like Abraham, Joshua and David. In events like the Exodus, and in the institution of monarchy. We can learn from them, these people and events from long ago, how to please our common God in our day.

The Sounds of Life

2008-08-22T23:06:00.001-07:00

One of the activities I like to do with my boys is to have them close their eyes and identify the sounds they hear. According to some parenting books it's supposed to heighten their sensory or something like that. I'd say it's a good way to have them be quiet for a few moments.

So one day I tried the exercise myself. I heard the washing machine, dishwasher, the CD player cranking up music so loud I bet the neighbors from 3 blocks away can hear it, the boys banging (I mean drumming) the life out of any surface with any object remotely shaped like a stick, while belting out a medley of tunes at the top of their lungs.

Those are the sounds of home, of life. And what a blessed life this is. Even though we'll probably all go deaf within 5 years.

The Ultimate Problem-Solver

2008-08-22T21:55:00.000-07:00

If someone comes to me with a problem, I'm more inclined to solve it than to empathize with the person, a trait more stereotypically found in men.

Regardless of what problems we have or had, there is no bigger problem than sin. Sin separate us from God, and bring us condemnation to eternal torment of hell. What other problem can be bigger than that?

Our sins gave us the worst problem, God gave us the perfect solution:

1. Incarnated His Son on earth to live a perfect life, so those who put their faith in Him can be clothed with His righteousness.

2. Sent His Son to die a gruesome death for our place on the cross, so His justice can be done.

So what are YOU going to do with this amazing God? Ignore Him? Do good deeds to appease Him? Call on Him only when you're in trouble?

How about: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength." Mark 12:30

Sounds great, isn't it? But how's THAT going to be carried out?

To be continued...

A Good Question

2008-08-19T07:43:00.001-07:00

My 3.5-year-old son:

"How do you put hair on your armpit?"

Thank goodness he was talking to my husband, not me.

The Politics of MacGyver

2008-07-15T16:06:00.000-07:00

"In 1991, the conservative Media Research Center named "MacGyver" one of the ten most "liberally biased" TV shows of the 1990-1991 season because of its focus on the environment, gun control, and foreign affairs." MacGvyer Online

So when did focus on the environment become a political issue? And spinning off on that, when is ANY issue become political? I found issues can be social, moral, military, foreign affairs and such. But when an issue becomes political, it clouds people's judgment and motives. I suspect sometimes, if most times, politicians oppose whatever the other party suggested, without considering if the idea has any merit or not. One could disagree with an issue within the party, but is pressured to follow along. Sometimes I think, politicians and voters alike, are too focused on insulting the other party to think of constructive solutions for problems in our country.

Maybe it's better to eliminate all political parties, and everyone runs for the office as independent. That way the candidates can truly states their stands on issues without the the distraction and the dirt of politics. But I guess the founding fathers did have a point about setting up our current governing system–to prevent anyone nor any group of people gaining too much power. For a country made up of imperfect and fallible humans, this is probably the best system to have.

At least we have something to forward to: when God establishes His Kingdom here at the end of the time we'll have one leader, one ruler that we all know can't be wrong on ANY issue. And we won't have to debate to death about them.

The Swiss Army Knife Show

2008-07-10T20:50:00.001-07:00

I feel dorky to admit that lately I've been watching MacGyver on the CBS website. The viewing began for nostalgia's sake, but now I think it's actually a pretty good TV show. Sure, it can be campy at times, and Richard Dean Anderson, as handsome as he is, his mullet in the later seasons is still hard for me to get used to. But the show is smart, clean, and surprisingly, I can learn a thing or two about science. Do you know that you can break a light bulb with drain cleaner? Yes it really works! Remember that next time you need to escape from various thugs!

I watched MacGyver during my teenage years when it first aired. Soon I had my heart set on getting my own Swiss Army Knife, which my doting daddy complied. Though I hardly use it, I still think it's something everyone should have.

But as I find out more about the show now, questions on political and social issues were raised. Boy, I can't just enjoy a TV show without going into those topics, can I?

To be continued...

All Theology Roads Lead to Romans?

2008-07-10T19:55:00.000-07:00

Paul the Apostle's letter to the Romans has a special place in my heart. Not only it's because I love learning about theologies, and this letter is loaded with them. But also it was the book that was preached on when I became a Christian. When the Holy Spirit opened my eyes to understanding some of the doctrines taught there I had no choice but to surrender my life to this amazing God and His gospel.

The way Paul wrote the letter reminded me of how master film directors who don't waste a frame of film nor a line that doesn't further the plot nor character development. There is no "filler" verse in the letter. Studying more than a few verses at a time would surely set my head spinning.

My women's Bible study group has spent about four months studying the first five chapters. My plan is to review them this summer before we continue in the Fall so I can have a really good solid understanding. I pray that what I learn will not only satisfy my quest for knowledge of God, but through that, I'll draw closer to God.

Moneyback Guarantee?

2008-04-23T22:10:00.000-07:00

I got a colorful direct mail from a new local church, promoting their sermon series on improving family relationships. The brochure highlights the "five guarantees" of the church:

A Casual and Contemporary Atmosphere!

The Music Will be Contemporary!

Your Kids will Love It!

The Talk will be Positive and Encouraging!

You are our Guest! We want you to feel relaxed, welcomed and accepted!

As I got all dizzy with all those exclamation points, I try to look for any indication, other than the name of the church, that it's actually a "Christian Church". Well, in the mist of all the promises to make sure the readers know this is not the kind of church that is "boring" or "stiffly", I finally see the word "Bible" in the kids section, indicting that after all, the kids are going to hear some Bible stories. But nowhere is "God" nor "Jesus" even mentioned.

I got curious and checked its website. While the mission statement is still man-centered rather than God-centered, at least the doctrines seem solid. I'm praying that the brochure is more like a "bait-and-switch", lures people in and then fill them with Scriptures and the greatness of God. Though I'm not even sure if I like that approach to outreach.

Here's what I'd like a Christian church to guarantee:

We will only and always teach from the Bible.

We will remind you of the sorrow state men are in without God, and then rejoice in the mercy and grace that our glorious God freely gives through Christ Jesus.

While we bask in God's mercy and grace, we understand the seriousness of sins and therefore we will exhort you to a live a holy life.

Our worship will focus on God. Not so much as "what God can do for me" type, but meditating on and praising God's wonderful attributes.

And yes, we do want you to feel welcomed and accepted. But more importantly, we want you to grow in your faith and depth of your relationship with God.

And moreover, no overuse of exclamation points in our brochures!

No Laughing!

2008-04-18T20:58:00.000-07:00

Recently, my three-year-old son has been talking non-stop:

Are your teeth falling out?

No honey.

Because you brush your teeth?

Yes, I brush them every night.

I brush them every night too!

That's great honey.

If you eat sugar, you have to brush your teeth so your teeth won't fall out!

That's why we don't eat sugary food.

Only once in a while.

That's right. Only once in a while.

The way he is so serious about what he says is just super cute. But I have to remind myself I can't laugh because he'd perceive as me laughing at him.

A friend's mom laughed when overhearing her pouring her heart out with her sister. It took her a long time before she trusted her again, even she was only 12. I remember a teacher in high school, when I told her teenagers can have our share of troubles too, she snickered. And right there and then, I lost ALL respect for her.

Of course it doesn't mean I can't laugh when I share them with my husband after they fall asleep at night!

How Not to Judge

2008-03-13T13:01:00.000-07:00

"Do not judge, or you too will be judged". Matthew 7:1

A presidential candidate recently used this Bible verse to support his stance on a social issue. This verse is probably one of the most quoted out of context, misunderstood and misapplied verses.

In Romans, the "Do Not Judge" idea is repeated and expanded:

"You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things. Now we know that God's judgment against those who do such things is based on truth. So when you, a mere man, pass judgment on them and yet do the same things, do you think you will escape God's judgment? Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, tolerance and patience, not realizing that God's kindness leads you toward repentance?" Romans 2:1-4

The "therefore" in the verse 1 was referring to the previous verses, where the Apostle Paul was saying how NO ONE was righteous, therefore we shouldn't judge others.

So what should we do? Eliminate the whole judicial system? Keep quiet when we see the wrongs in the world? Tolerate, accept and approve all behaviors?

As Christians, the Holy Spirit in us enable us to discern what's right and wrong according to God, not man. And this is a good thing. However, what are in our hearts, what are our attitudes when we recognize sins in others? Do we:

• Feel great about ourselves because we don't/think we don't commit the same sin?
• Feel superior? Prideful?
• Have a sense of self-righteousness?
• Extend condemnation instead of compassion?

What we should be doing instead:
• Be humble and recognize that it's ONLY through God's grace and mercy that we can be free from any sin.
• Recognize that we too are sinners, not better than them.
• Be thankful for God's "kindness, tolerance and patience," Romans 2:4
• Be compassionate. Serve, minister and pray instead of condemn.
• Grief for their sins, and ours.
• Repent our own sins.

One of the impressions many has of Christians are that we are all too eager to wag our fingers at what others do. Unfortunately, it's true for many Christians, both true and self-proclaimed ones. I, too, have done this. When we are prideful and self-righteous, we are much less effective in ministering and being a light for God. Not to mention "For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." Matthew 7:2.

Now go read your Bible again, Mr. Presidential Candidate.

Enjoy Movies, Without Watching Them!

2008-03-01T13:00:00.000-08:00

The last time I watched a movie from beginning to end was the third installment of The Lord of the Rings. So it's been a long time, especially for someone with a college degree majoring in Broadcasting and Film.

Film is a wonderful medium for artists. It has a vast canvas, where layers and layers of stories, emotions, characters, themes, symbolism and other artistic elements can be packed in.

And that is one of the reasons I hardly watch any movie anymore. I don't see movies as much as entertainment, but as a work of art to be moved, experienced, analyzed and researched to death. With the life stage I am in, I can't, and I am not willing to commit my very limited free time and energy to do so.

Another important reason is that as a Bible-believing Christian, I'm wary of what goes into my head. Garbage in, garbage out. With a corrupted mind and sinful heart, I can hardly afford to actively put in more God-dishonoring language nor images in my head. There are movies out there with incredible directing, superb acting and beautifully shot, but the profane language and scenes of gratuitous graphic sex/violence ruined them for me. It's one thing to be in a sinful environment to minister and serve, but there's no eternally value to analyze why the director composed the shots in a certain way.

But that doesn't mean I need to detach myself completely from movies. I watch movie trailers, read movie reviews and spoilers, and even watch a few clips from Youtube if they look promising.

Not only it's interesting for me to keep up to date with what kind of movies are out there, it helps me to continue to know and understand the worldly culture, help me to relate to others without endorsing nor becoming like it.

There's a whole other discussion about how Christians should relate to the secular culture. But that's another post for another day.

St. Louis, Circa 1994

2008-02-13T22:53:00.003-08:00

My first and only trip to St. Louis was during my junior or senior year in college. I, along with four other foreign students, participated in video project about our college life in America. It was such a big hit we were sent to present it at a international student conference in St. Louis. On that trip, I traveled with great company and had an amazing time. I even played tambourine on stage with a band in a bar! But it was something else that turned that trip into an unforgettable experience.

On the trip with me were Karin, the smartest girl from Denmark, and Ansa, a kind and gentle boy from Africa. Together we were like a walking music video of "We are the World", drawing attention wherever we go. We finished our presentation and immediately skipped out of the conference for sightseeing.

We shared a room in a seedy motel. Before we headed out for a night out, we heard noises like a hard object being banged on the wall, and then screaming and crying. We told the owner at the reception about it. With a thick Indian accent, he told us the phone in that room didn't seem to work, but he promised to try again later.

When we came back, we heard a man complaining to the owner about being hot in the room, AND the phone not working. It dawned on us that's the man in the room across from us. "Brother, let's have a talk," Ansa approached the man, as Karin and I went up to his room to check on his family.

His wife, in her early twenties, had a bruise on her face, and three young children with her. We tried to play with the kids, but they just stared at us with the most vacant eyes I've ever seen. We told her she got options, there are places that she could take the kids to and be safe. She said she'd go stay with her mother.

Ansa returned, with the news that the husband went out for a drink. We returned to our rooms, promised the family help if they wanted.

The next morning, with muffins and orange juice in hand, we knocked on their door. The wife answered, and told us she was just going to stay with her husband. Our hearts sank, knowing she'd get hit again, and there was nothing else we could do.

The drive home was quiet. For the first time in our sheltered life, we experienced the ugliness of the world outside our comfortable college campus. We aged years in the space of a few days.

Regrettably, I've lost touch with both Karin and Ansa. I wonder if they still remember that trip. I pray that in some way, however small, God had used us to extend some comfort and hope to the wife and the children that night. I pray that the family is now doing well, that God's grace and mercy had transformed their lives.

Mad World

2008-02-06T10:01:00.000-08:00

The top news stories on the internet today includes a natural disaster, a presidential race filled with candidates with less than desire values, and no peace in sight for war-torn countries. Even the entertainment section headlines a young actor's tragic death.

It's no big revelation that we live in a messed up world. And it has been this way since Adam and Eve, instead of trusting and obeying God, believed Satan's lies and choose to decide for themselves what's right and what's wrong instead.

As long as sin is in the world, suffering on this world is inevitable. As Christians, we have an eternal hope that through Jesus complete work on the cross, one day we'll be where "There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." Revelation 21:4

Moon-Gazing

2008-01-22T20:35:00.000-08:00

My three-year-old son is all about the moon these days. Every night he'd ask if the moon has come out yet. We're blessed to live in a house where the moon is clearly visible through our playroom window during the full moon phrase. So tonight we spent quite a bit of time sitting by the window with the lights turned off, gawking jaw-dropped at the brilliant moon as it lit up the room.

Compare to many other stars, the moon is tiny and quite insignificant. There are countless other stars, suns, galaxies exist in the universe far beyond the strongest telescope can see. Even if a person just minimally believes God's hand is at least involved somehow, how can the sheer number of stars doesn't blow one's mind and see how powerful and majestic this God is?

"The heavens declare the glory of God;
the skies proclaim the work of his hands" Psalm 19:1

You Can Lead a Horse to the Water...

2008-01-17T20:58:00.000-08:00

Never before a baby can be so similar to a odd-toed ungulate mammal than my 15-month old. Against my instinct, I caved into pressure and pushed solid food on him before he was ready. So my strong-willed child clamped up for months and had very low weight gain. Of course we got worried and pushed him harder. It wasn't until a few weeks ago when we stopped pressuring him, and now for the first time in his life he discovered the joy of eating solid food and his weight is much more satisfactory. Whew!

So at this tender young age, he is already teaching us that he is his own person, not an extension of us. That is so annoying. I want to control what, when and how much he eats, what his interests and beliefs are. I want to pick his wife for him (let's bring back arranged marriage!), choose his career, and arrange the house a few blocks from us for him to live. Since all these probably won't happen, all I can do is to do the best I can to teach and give him the resource for wisdom. And to be on my kneels everyday to pray for God's touch on his heart.

I guess I should be thankful for this lesson and practice in letting go, and trust that ultimately he (and all of us) is in God's hands. So when he finally move out to be on his own, hopefully I won't be grabbing onto his heels screaming, "my baby!"

The neighbors would think I'm so weird.

And Apple Was Its Name, O

2008-01-14T14:52:00.000-08:00

With the buzzing anticipation of Steve Jobs' keynote speech at Macworld Conference and Expo, bloggers had make all sorts of contests and games. My favorite? Apple Keynote Bingo Card!

(click on image to view larger)

And Deliver Me from My Own Stupidity, Amen.

2008-01-12T21:11:00.000-08:00

It's amazing that I'm alive and well today, consider all the stupid things I've done in my life.

Case in point: As a college student, I decided to photograph and interview a local artist for a class. He lived half an hour of driving away, and I had no car nor a driver's license. I enlisted a friend to drive me there, but she couldn't drive me back. So I checked the Greyhound bus schedule and planned to go home that way. Well, by the time I arrived at the bus station after 5 p.m., the last bus was long gone and only one staff remained. As I pondered my next step, he offered to give me a ride home when his wife came to pick him up. While I know hopping into a car with strangers wasn't the best idea, I agreed to his plan. I guess I felt at ease because it wasn't just him, but his wife will be there also. So the couple and their son went out of their way and drive half an hour to get me home. I thanked them profusely, and they would not accept anything from me.

They could be serial killers, and I could meet my well-deserved end there by my own stupidity. But instead God delivered me and kept me safe.

So to those kind souls who were so generous with their time to help a foreign student, I can't thank you enough. I hope that somehow in some way you know you have my gratitude, and God is praised because of you.

Are You Game?

2008-01-05T12:22:00.000-08:00

"Keep the house spotless, look after the children, feed the family, and push your multi-tasking skills to the limit."

You'd think that is a partial description of what a parent do. But it's actually for a computer "game" called Nanny Mania.

So when did completing mundane tasks online become a game people do for fun? I'll bet no busy mom would play that one.

I have no desire to own any video game system. I don't have the time and energy to play video games anyway. But now I guess since my daily life is like one I have no reason to have one, ever.

What are they going to have next, have a "Filling-Out-Forms" game?

The Numbing Machine

2008-01-03T22:34:00.000-08:00

I have a pile of unfinished "draft" blog entries that never got posted. One of them is about television and young children. Then I found this post, which approached this subject with more adequateness and articulation than I can ever muster. So here's the link:

http://www.strangelandblog.com/2007/08/08/young-minds/

The Best Advice to the President

2008-01-02T22:16:00.000-08:00

"Now therefore, O kings, be wise;
be warned, O rulers of the earth.
Serve the Lord with fear,
and rejoice with trembling.
Kiss the Son,
lest he be angry, and you perish in the way,
for his wrath is quickly kindled.
Blessed are all who take refuge in him." Psalm 2:10-12

The Good Fear

2008-01-02T21:24:00.000-08:00

As I read the Psalms 1-2 and Proverbs 1, I found a very similar theme:

Fear of the Lord=Wise, which leads to good consequences
No fear of the Lord=Foolish, which leads to very bad consequences.

It sounds simple but it's so true. How foolish it is for one to ignore, deny, scoff, rebel against, despise and/or hate God's word? Do we really think we can win when fighting with the almighty God, who create the world by just by speaking and can wipe it out the same way?

Sure, God is also a loving, caring and compassionate God. But many people focus just on the "warm fuzzy' part, and neglect the other attributes of God such as almighty, powerful, holy and just. The God in the Old Testament is the same never-changing God in the New Testament, the same God we have today.

So take heed to the wisdom of Solomon, and have a healthy dose of fear for our God. The other alternative is not pretty.

"Because they hated knowledge
and did not choose the fear of the Lord,
would have none of my counsel
and despised all my reproof,
therefore they shall eat the fruit of their way,
and have their fill of their own devices." Proverbs 1:29-31

Fruits and Lots of Them. A.K.A My Goal This Year

2008-01-01T21:24:00.000-08:00

As I reflect on the year 2007, I think that while I've grown in the knowledge of various theologies and solidified my Christian worldview, I have not been reading the Bible and in prayer as much, hence feeling disconnected with God. It's like I know all the FACTS about a person, such as his favorite food and book, but if I never listen to him nor talk to him, I don't have RELATIONSHIP with him and we don't truly know each other.

Therefore one of my goals this year is to be more consistent in the Word and in prayer. Beginning with Psalm 1:

"Blessed is the man
who walks not in the counsel of the wicked,
nor stands in the way of sinners,
nor sits in the seat of scoffers;
but his delight is in the law of the Lord,
and on his law he meditates day and night.

He is like a tree
planted by streams of water
that yields its fruit in its season" Psalm 1:1-3a

My prayer is that we'll plant ourselves by the streams of God's Word, and through the Holy Spirit, we'll yield more fruit than the farmers' market in the summer.

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law." Galatians 5:22-23

Happy 1st Birthday, Under Grace!

2008-01-01T09:16:00.000-08:00

That's right. This blog was started exactly a year ago.

So the entries have been scarce, especially during the second half of the year. But the fact that I'm still writing is something that pleases me.

To my (very) few readers, I hope this blog has blessed you in some way. It certainly has blessed me. It had provide me a free place to vent and to de-clutter my mind.

So off we go to another year of blogging. I have a few new ideas and projects in mind. We'll see what happens.

So Cool...Yet So Useless

2007-12-26T22:17:00.000-08:00

I don't care much for useless knickknacks, but I got to admit this is pretty cool.

Global Warming and God's Will

2007-12-23T14:47:00.000-08:00

In previous post I wrote about Greg Craven's series of videos on global climate change, and I found one of them is called "God's Will". In it he tries to tackle the viewpoint of global warming is God's will, therefore we're powerless to stop it. He gave an illustration of how we would take the matter into our own hands if the scale of pollution is small, and challenged us to think where should the line be drawn between human's doing versus God's doing as the scale gets bigger.

Craven handled this viewpoint respectfully. However, he made some unmentioned assumptions:

1. He presented those who believe global warming is God's will thinks since there's nothing we can do about it, hence we don't need to do anything.
Maybe some people do think this way. However, just because it's God's will doesn't mean we shouldn't do anything about it. It's like saying it's God's will for my roof to leak, therefore I shouldn't go fix it. It's God's will for the crops to grow, but we still have to water and fertilize them. God regular carries out His will using us as His tool.

2. That if the size of the problem is small it's all men's doing.
God has EVERYTHING to do with EVERYTHING. If I did good on an exam, it is because I studied hard. But God is the one that deal with all my brain cells that remember what I read, and deal with how my eyes see and transmit the information to my brain. He kept my heart beating and alive so I can study. He didn't put me in an accident on the way to the exam. And the list goes on and on.

In summary, I think nothing falls outside of God's will, but we should still take actions as God can work through us.

How It All Ends

2007-12-20T14:20:00.000-08:00

Oregon high-school science teacher Greg Craven's series of videos on global warming, How It All Ends, has made him somewhat of a celebrity. His simple argument, "the risk of not acting on climate change far outweighs the risk of acting," and his earnest and quirky appeal, has won him more than 4 million views worldwide through YouTube and other video posting websites.

But this is not what this blog entry is about. While the video title is "How it All Ends", it really doesn't tell us about the very very end. The ultimate end. The Grand Finale. The fat-lady-sing type of end.

To learn about that end, you have to read this.

Yes, that's the "final-showdown-between-God-and-Satan" end. To oversimplify, the following will happen:

1. Satan will be defeated once and for all: (not a big surprise, isn't it?)
"and the devil who had deceived them was thrown into the lake of fire and sulfur where the beast and the false prophet were, and they will be tormented day and night forever and ever." Revelation 20:10

2. Those whose names are in God's Book of Life will dwell with God, where "He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” Revelation 21:4

3. I hate to do a "fire and brimstone", but the fact is:
"But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death.” Revelation 21:8

If you think thank goodness I'm not a murderer, a sexually immoral...etc. Well, think again. In Roman 3:23, "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God". You can also read this again. (Yes, I actually finished reading that book, though I kind of just browse through the last few chapters. Got to go reread it again some time.)

The good news comes in the very next verses in Roman 3:24-25:
"and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God put forward as a propitiation by his blood, to be received by faith."

So if you don't believe the Bible is the Word of God, or if you believe you need or can add something other than Jesus work on the cross (good works, religion...etc.) to bridge the great gap of men and God, use the logic of Mr. Craven: the risk of not acting far outweighs the risk of acting. With an open mind, read the Bible from beginning to end. Don't take verses out of its context. Go do some research on how the Bible come about, pray for guidance. Don't believe something just because someone in authority tells you. Find it out for yourself. If the Bible is wrong, the most you'll lost are some time and energy. But if what the Bible says it's true, the worst-case scenario for you will be extremely far worse than those from global climate change.

Be a Historian

2007-09-20T09:22:00.000-07:00

I need to include myself more in photographs with my boys.

Ever since my first baby is born, I am rarely in the pictures since I'm usually the one with the camera. I had no problem with this, it's the babies that are the cute ones anyway. But then I imagine them all grown up, and wonder what their father and I used to look like. I know when I look at my own baby photos, I am always intrigued by how my parents used to look, how they used to dress and more. I wonder what their daily lives are like, what are their hopes and dreams? I want to document that for my children.

Documenting our own lives is not being self-absorbed. It's the history of our families and a way to take inventory of God's blessings. Imagine your great-grandchildren reading about the people and events that shaped you and how God had worked in our lives.

So go ahead, take photographs of yourselves, write stories of your lives, however mundane they seem like. They'll be treasures for generations to come.

"Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them." Deuteronomy 4:9

Happiness Vs Joy

2007-07-27T21:57:00.000-07:00

My personal definition for "happiness" and "joy" are very different. In a nutshell, I define "happiness" as a a emotion feeling of well-being and contentment, which is affected by external circumstances. Mostly from shallowly things such as enjoying good food, or for me, being able to eat without interruption from my children.

I think most people would define "joy" as something like "really happy by something more meaningful" such as having a good relationship with our families, or being able to help someone in need. But for me I believe true and lasting joy can only comes from God. And it would not waver due to any change of circumstances, because God is the only one sure thing that never change.

Our delight in God, His attributes and His promises are what gives us everlasting joy. When Paul was in prison, I'd bet he's not happy about it. Yet his letter to the Philippians, written in prison, is full of joy. The words "joy" or "rejoice" are used fourteen times!

John Piper, an gifted preacher and writer, wrote "...only God can create joy in God. This is why the old saints not only pursued joy but prayed for it..." How true! My prayer, to quote Mr. Piper's book When I Don't Desire God, is this:

"And thus give them more joy than all the gladness that the world can give. And by this joy in Jesus Christ, fit them to love and serve and sacrifice. And by this joy, with which they bear their cross, Lord, cause the earth to know what you are truly worth."

The Dilemma of Play

2007-06-25T23:39:00.000-07:00

Almost everyday you can find news on young children being kidnapped, or die in accidents because the caregiver "looked away for a second." But then there are regular articles like this one, saying children's social development and creativity suffers when they don't have enough unsupervised outdoor free play.

So what's a parent to do? Let them roam free in the neighborhood and risk being abducted and/or get into a serious accident? Or keep an eye on them everywhere and stunt their growth?

A Wise-Cracking God?

2007-06-22T23:44:00.000-07:00

The extent of God's holiness is way beyond our comprehension. There is nothing and no one even can compare to Him. We're not on a same playing field as God. We have to be very careful not to humanize God, because that's not the God of the Bible.

"'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,' declares the LORD." Isaiah 55:8

That's why I'm disturbed to see even Christianity Today, a Christian publication, gave the movie Evan Almighty a glowing review. In the movie, God is played by Morgan Freeman, who instructed a modern day character, Evan Baxter, to build a ark just like Noah of the Old Testament. Well, the fact that the moment God revealed Himself to Evan, he didn't fall flat on his face with reverence, fear and worship is enough for me to give it a very thumbs-down. So the movie has positive elements such as family value, but it depicts our almighty God merely a perfect human with super powers. That, my friend, is beyond unacceptable.

Focus On the Family's media review site, Plugged In, also gave this movie a positive review. But the founder of the ministry, Mr. James Dobson, put in his personal comments at the end that nailed my sentiments. You go, Mr. D.

Go Ahead, Hug a Tree

2007-05-21T21:37:00.000-07:00

Christians aren't exactly known for our efforts in protecting the environment. That is a shame because we should be good stewards of what God has given us, including the planet Earth. We all can, and should, make more effort to reduce, reuse and recycle. It's a healthier, simpler, and more frugal lifestyle that preserve God's creation for future generations.

3 things you can do RIGHT NOW:

1. Switch to homemade household cleaners. You can find tons of recipes online using simple and inexpensive ingredients such as baking soda and vinegar. Try these from The Green Guide.

2. Buy used items. With summer approaching, garage sales are around every corner.

3. Get a dryer rack and air dry at least some clothing items.

"God saw all that he had made, and it was very good." Genesis 1:31

Know Thy Creator

2007-05-17T22:04:00.000-07:00

I think most people have had disastrous relationships. It can be family, a friendship, or a "what-was-I-thinking" romance. However, there's one relationship that's like no other.

Since the creation of men, God intends to be in a personal relationship with His people. In the Old Testament, He walked and talked to Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, He met with Moses in the Tent of Meeting and Mount Sinai, and He dwelled in the temple built by King Solomon. Then prophet Isaiah wrote about the promise of a child named Immanuel (Isaiah 7:14), which means "God with us".

In the New Testament, "The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us." (John 1:14). Jesus, the Son of God Himself, came and walked intimately with His disciples. After Jesus' resurrection and ascension, He sent the Holy Spirit, which is the third person of the Trinity, in live in those who believe in Him.

No other relationship is more important, nor satisfying like this one, for no one is perfect, holy, and never-changing like God. By studying and meditating on His word from the Bible, by constantly going to Him with praises, by presenting our petitions, and by seeking His wisdom in everything we do, we can get to know our Creator, our Almighty God. Not only to know ABOUT Him, but to know Him intimately in our hearts and enjoy His presence in our lives.

And this is ONE relationship you'll never, never regret.

Election Questions

2007-05-16T21:55:00.000-07:00

Let's say in a Presidential election, it is Candidate A versus Candidate B. With Candidate A, there are 5 values that I disagree, whereas with Candidate B there are 3.

If I vote for B, hoping if he/she wins at least I'll get 2 values into the White House, does that mean I endorse the 3 values that I don't agree with?

Or should I not vote at all, risking A carry all his/her 5 values (or lack of) to be the leader of this country?

Mothers' Designer

2007-05-13T16:30:00.000-07:00

Once again, I am amazed.

The design of the relationship between mothers and their children are brilliant. I'm amazed at how God leads mothers to instantly fall in love with their newborns, and how He provides them with milk, so the babies can eat AND bond at the same time. How efficient is that! And how babies feel most secure as they navigate the world in their mothers' arms. As rewards for the sleep-deprived, God brings on those sweet baby smiles to melt our hearts.

Even after they've grown into toddlers, they remain cute to minimize our head-banging on the wall, when for the nineteenth time, they insist on pouring the milk themselves and end up pouring half a gallon of it on the floor.

On this Mother's Day (and everyday after), let's remember the creator of mothers and children, and give Him the praise and worship He so deserve.

Consequence of a Late Nap

2007-05-08T22:16:00.000-07:00

As I laid down with my son in his bed, waiting for him to fall asleep, I had nothing else to do but to let my tired mind wander:

1. No way I'm letting him nap past 3 p.m. tomorrow.

2. Wouldn't it be great if I can somehow project a book or the Internet on the ceiling so I can read? But then I have to have special glasses so only I can read them and not distract the boy.

3. The chocolate-covered almonds downstairs are definitely calling my name. Hmmm...

4. It's be so cool for mothers to have a special power that can cause their children to fall asleep at will. Nah, maybe not. Too easy to abuse this.

5. This bed is quite comfortable. I'm so thankful that me and my family have a warm bed to sleep in, instead of sleeping on a cold hard floor in a hut, or a sleeping bag in a soldier's tent in Iraq, or a bunk bed in a prison cell. I pray someday my children would realize how blessed they are.

Outlaw Country

2007-05-02T21:16:00.000-07:00

Imagine if you broke a law, for example, you robbed a bank. I'd think if you didn't get caught, you'd thank your lucky stars and go enjoy your loot. You wouldn't think of getting together with other bank robbers and march on the streets and demand rights.

But wait! This is America! Apparently if you gather enough people that broke the same law, and have politicians that have no backbone, not only you won't get punished for breaking the law, but actually you might get reward for that.

This is the case for illegal immigrants. How can we maintain respect for the law, when we allow them to scoff at it? Before the bar of justice, shouldn't we all be accountable for disobeying the law?

But what about compassion and mercy? After all, as Christians we are called to love our neighbors. America does have legal immigration available, even though the system is flawed. We can also have aid and missionaries sent to countries in need.

I know this issue does not have an easy solution, as the problem has never been properly dealt with and has grown into a monstrous size. But the basics, like securing the borders, discouraging companies from hiring illegals residents, and offer help to fight poverty in poor countries, can at least slow down the population growth of the illegal residents.

As a legal immigrant, I filled out all the paperwork, paid all the fees, and lined up at the crack of dawn outside the immigration office building. I say it's all worth it. I consider my US citizenship a blessing from God and I'm very thankful for it. Let's pray that we can find ways to balance justice and compassion, quickly.

Scary Rhymes

2007-04-26T19:00:00.000-07:00

I'm surprised by how many popular nursery rhymes and songs have questionable content. The obvious one is the nightmare inducing Rock-a-Bye Baby:

Rock-a-bye baby, in the treetop
When the wind blows, the cradle will rock
When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall
And down will come baby, cradle and all

Then we have Hush Little Baby, perfect for raising materialistic children:

Hush, little baby, don't say a word,
Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird.
And if that mockingbird don't sing,
Mama's going to buy you a diamond ring.

To teach baby boys how to treat their future wife, we have Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater:

Peter Peter pumpkin eater,
Had a wife and couldn't keep her!
He put her in a pumpkin shell,
And there he kept her very well!

While I doubt reading or singing the above rhymes to babies will damage them mentally nor emotionally, I'm not taking any chances. I'm sticking with Wheels on the Bus, it's my son's favorite anyway. Although it might damage me mentally if I have to continue singing it 50 times a day.

My Snapshots

2007-04-25T14:46:00.000-07:00

Today I took my baby C.F. for his six-month check up. In the doctor's office, his two-year-old brother C.S. behaved like a perfect child. He waited patiently and quietly, even threw in a few kisses for his brother to woo the nurses. The staff was impressed. And I was proud. Not only of my son, but of my own parenting.

Ten minutes later in the parking lot, everything changed. The baby was crying hard, C.S. was screaming and refused to get into the car. I noticed an older man watching, silently judging me, I'm sure.

If you randomly take snapshots of my day, each one can draw a very different assumption of what kind of a mother I am. Snapshots don't tell the whole story. But I too have times when I subconsciously make snapshots judgements. They can be based on all sorts of presumptions and stereotypes. A mom giving candies to her children in a grocery store? Bad mother. Men checking their Blackberries on weekends? Workaholics. Children screaming in the parking lot? Can't their mother control her own children? Wait, that was me.

"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?" Matthew 7:3

On Forgiveness

2007-04-22T21:56:00.000-07:00

According to some friends that recently celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary, one of the most important elements in their long happy marriage is forgiveness.

How wise is that! As imperfect human beings, in all our relationships, sooner or later, we're all going to wrong and be wronged. There can be no healthy relationships without forgiveness.

Forgiveness is hard to give. Sometimes hold out on forgiving is a revenge, to hurt the ones who hurt us. Sometimes it is self preservation, as forgiving would seem like we're taken advantage of. Sometimes it is our way to enforce justice, as we decide whether the offender deserve our forgiveness.

The truth is, forgiving is less about us and the offender, but much more about us and God. Jesus illustrated it perfectly in Matthew 18:23-35, about a man whose debt was forgiven greatly, but turned around and harshly dealt with one who owe him much less. We all have sinned greatly against the most Holy God, and yet He offers forgiveness through His son Jesus Christ. It is only right that we forgive others as well.

Forgiving is to cease resentment. It doesn't mean absorbing the offender's responsibility. It's not a feeling, it's a decision. It's given unconditionally. It's not contingent on the offender's apology nor repentance. It's an act of love. It's being obedient to God. It heals and reconciles. It doesn't have a quantity limit, even if it's the 849 times he left his shoes all over the house.

"Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors." Matthew 6:12

Whole Again

2007-04-18T19:28:00.000-07:00

Today, on a rare outing to the grocery store by myself, I put in Jennifer Knapp's CD Lay It Down. It was a nice change from the classical music and children's songs we listen to at home.

It gave me a lump in my throat, as I heard the song Whole Again, the part that goes:

If I give my life
If I lay it down
Can you turn this life around
Can I be made clean by this offering of my soul
Can I be made whole again?

In the wake of the Virginia Tech tragedy, this song reminds me of the hurt and brokenness that we all experience to different degrees. Whether it was caused by sins of our own or others. Whether it happened in the past, present or future.

But there's hope. When we confess to God that we can't do this life by our own power and strength, when we surrender to God and ask Him to take over our lives, He will give us rest, heal us and yes, He will make us whole again.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matt. 11:28-30

Parenting the "God's Way?"

2007-04-16T15:28:00.000-07:00

There are many controversies on parenting issues, even within the Christian circles. I always get wary when books claim their way of parenting is the "God's way", and being dogmatic about it rather than presenting it as wisdom. I believe the Bible has given us principles on parenting, which is to discipline, guide and love them. But applications can vary from culture to culture, family to family and child to child.

The quote I recently found that is most useful is from Debi Pearl. Ironically, I disagree with many of her ideas. On breastfeeding and co-sleeping, she wrote on her web site:

"Learn all you can from all points of view and then throw it all out and do what works best for you. Relax. Don’t chose sides and fight it out. It is not Bible doctrine. In departing from someone’s system you need not feel guilt or pride."

I like to add that parenting should be done on our knees, praying constantly for wisdom for parenting, and regeneration for our children. Because while we can modify behaviors, true transformation can only come from the Holy Spirit.

Pink and Blue

2007-04-11T15:21:00.000-07:00

The other day I was talking away to my husband, who was trying his best not to fall asleep. All of a sudden his face light up and exclaimed:

"Oh wow! You're going pink on me!"

Say what? He was referring to the video marriage conference we went to, Love and Respect. On the topic of how men and women operate differently, the speaker talked about how women (pink) sometimes talk in spiderweb. That is when we start talking about a point, but takes lots of detours before finishing it. (watch the video, it's hilarious!) Boy! I was totally doing that!

The major points of the conference:
• Men and women operate very differently.
• A wife needs to feel love and a husband needs to feel respect.
• Without love she reacts without respect, and without respect he reacts without love, hence the Crazy Cycle.
• Both love and respect should be given unconditionally.
• Whoever is more mature should be the one to break the Crazy Cycle.

I had a few "a-ha!" moments at this conference, and while this theory will not save every marriage, I believe it can change many for the better. I personally have witnessed how the Crazy Cycle can destroy a marriage, leaving both parties bitter, angry and hurt.

I still "spiderweb" when I talk, but I'm more aware of it now.

Farewell, Johnny Hart!

2007-04-09T23:34:00.000-07:00

From John Deering, editorial cartoonist

It's Been a While...

2007-04-01T22:34:00.000-07:00

...but here's a few things from chapter 3 of The Holiness of God by R.C. Sproul, plus research I've done to confirm the information.

• The word "holy" in Hebrew is kadosh. Its primary meaning is "to set apart."
• God is absolutely above and beyond us.
• Holy is not just one of God's attribute. Holy is God. Everything God has and do is holy. On the same thought, NOTHING is holy without God's consecrating. To call anything else holy is idolatry, since it'd give common things the awe, respect, worship and adoration that only God rightly deserves.

An interesting information I found, is that orthodox Jews are taught to revere God so much that they avoid writing the full name of God because of the risk that it might later be accidentally defaced. What a big contrast to the present day, when people freely use God's names in vain.

R2-D2's New Job

2007-03-17T08:58:00.000-07:00

R2-D2 is delivering mail now?

To celebrate the 30th anniversary of Star Wars, the post office is rolling out mail boxes that are designed after R2-D2. So very cool! But I wonder how quickly they'd be stolen by crazed fans.

Zoom Zoom Zoom!

2007-03-10T20:25:00.000-08:00

During high school my friends and I were always interested in doing various personality tests, even though I knew most, if not all of them are just for fun and nowhere near accurate. I think it was just a futile attempt to get to know ourselves better.

I still remember a test about what do we feel go by the fastest, a day, a week, a month or a year. I don't, however, remember what the results were supposed to indicate.

I'd think being a stay-at-home mom, time would go by slow. But since Colin was born, days, months, and years have just flew. Once in a while there'd be pockets of time during the day that seems a bit slow, but generally I never run out of things to do in the house or with the boys. After the time spent supervising mealtimes, nap times and most recently, "pooping-in-the-toilet" times, there really isn't that much time left.

Sometimes it freaks me out a bit when I was reminded how time just zoom by. I mean, in a few years I would be 40! 40 should be the age of my parents, not me! But as I think further, I realize I really have no ground for complaint about my amazing journey called life. I might want to go back and undo a few stupid things I did, but every step I took was part of God's plan to make me who I am today. And no plan is better than God's plan! I'm just so thankful of the grace of God that brought me to where I am today.

AUGHHHH! Can't Look!

2007-02-21T21:13:00.000-08:00

Continuing on the book The Holiness of God by R.C. Sproul. By the way, he just given a message in a conference for pastors that is straight out from this chapter. You can read, listen and even watch it here.

My thoughts on chapter 2:

The Bible has many places gives us glimpses of just how holy God is. Throughout his life, Moses has numerous encounters with God. In Exodus 33:18, he asked to see the glory of God, and God replied "you cannot see my face, for no one may see me and live." (Exodus 33:20) But God did let Moses see His back. And just from that Moses' face became so radiant from reflecting the glory of God that he had to put a veil on his face, so not to terrify everyone else. (Exodus 34: 29)

God is SO SO MUCH holier than humans that we can't even handle looking at a face that has just looked at God's back. So how are we to face Him with our spotty records of our lives? How can we expect to spend eternally with Him in heaven?

"we have been made holy through the sacrifice of the body of Jesus Christ once for all." Hebrews 10:10

"... we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus," Hebrews 10:19

The Holiness of God

2007-02-15T22:16:00.000-08:00

I believe that knowing the extensiveness of God's holiness is crucial to christian living. Otherwise, we wouldn't understand how necessary Christ's work on the cross is in order for us to gain access to heaven. After all, why should we deserve hell since most of us have never kill nor sell drugs. So we have lied a little, harbored bitterness a few times and being prideful once in a while, that shouldn't be enough to go to hell, right? Well, if we consider that our God is perfectly holy, then it would make sense that even a tiny speck of sin against Him would send us hell bound.

I want to have a better understanding on the holiness of God. And then my husband got this book from the library called, incidentally, The Holiness of God! The author us R.C. Sproul and I'm going to write what I learn from it as I read it since I tend to forget.

So far what I've learnt:
Chapter 1:
• God is so holy that "Holy is His name" Luke 1:49.
• How we understand the person and character of God affects every aspect of our lives. If God is the Creator of the entire universe, then it must follow that He is the Lord of the WHOLE universe. No compartmentalizing would make sense, including science, economics, and yikes, politics.

Keith Green's 7 Years of No Compromising

2007-02-08T22:24:00.000-08:00

Seven years. That's how long Keith Green lived as a Christian before he died from a plane crash 25 years ago. But God used him to impact lives of many, and to this day, his legacy continues to inspire thousands of people to draw closer to God.

My husband and I watched a documentary of his life story, and we were touched by how he held nothing back to live out the Gospel. He could live a very comfortable life making lots of money from his albums and concerts. Instead, he cancelled the contract he had with a record company so he could give away his albums for free, and he refused to charge anything for his concerts. He took in anyone in need, to a point that his house is so full there're people sleeping in their garage, even when he was raising a young family. All his songs and messages points to God, and urged people to live out their faith. He had truly lived out the title of his 2nd album: No Compromise.

Now I need to ask myself: What do I hold back? What have I compromise in my faith? Am I willing to be used by God in anyway, or only when it's within my comfort zone?

Come Sail Away

2007-02-05T19:11:00.000-08:00

Ever since I wrote the post titled The Grand Illusion, I can't help but think of the band Styx's album of the same title. Ok, so some of their lyrics are comparable to bad poetry from a high school student, I got to admit songs like Come Sail Away sticks with me and I would not hesitate to belt it along with the radio in the car.

Boy, now I'm nostalgic.

Awwwwww...how cute!

2007-02-03T23:18:00.000-08:00

Apparently, devotion to your city's sport team unite people (and statues) together.
(Tribune photos by Nancy Stone & Kuni Takahash)

The Grand Illusion

2007-02-03T22:30:00.000-08:00

Ever since I became a parent, my desire for control is even more futile as ever. I can't make my child poop, fall asleep, nor learn a certain skill at a certain time.

The truth is, we hardly have any control at all. We thought we do, but we really don’t. I mean, can you control how your heart beat? Can you control how your brain cells work? Can you control whether tomorrow you'd still have a job, a house, a family?

Oh boy. I just open the can of worms of free will/responsibility of our own actions versus God's sovereignty. Bottomline: they both exist. How? Don't know.

"Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God!
How unsearchable his judgments,
and his paths beyond tracing out!
"Who has known the mind of the Lord?
Or who has been his counselor?"
"Who has ever given to God,
that God should repay him?"
For from him and through him and to him are all things.
To him be the glory forever! Amen." Romans 11:33-36 (NIV)

Do this! My Way! NOW!

2007-02-03T22:05:00.001-08:00

I don't think I'm a control freak. But it does bother me in various degrees when people make different choices that I don't think it's the best, or when they don't do things exact way and timeframe that I want.

I have to be careful not to micromanage. To do so I would overstep others' boundaries, not to mention that'd be extremely annoying. The real issue here is the lack of trust in God. Real lasting change can only comes from God. I need to put trust in God to change the hearts of others and mine, in His own time, IF that's what He planned to do.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28 (NIV)

Now we just have to make sure we're "those who love him." :)

The Driving Force Behind Apple

2007-01-28T22:55:00.000-08:00

A must-see for any Apple fan is a video of Steve Jobs, pre-black-turtleneck-and-blue-jeans days and with all of his hair, at a keynote in 1983 showing for the first time ever the famous "1984" ad. He was so smug and the audience went so wild it's like being in a cult.

Reading some stories of Steve Jobs from people who worked with him, I believe one of the reasons Apple's products are so beautiful and work so well is his demand for excellence. For him, good isn't enough and it doesn't worth doing something unless it's done great. This may sound quite harsh but he brings out the best work from the people around him.

I should demand more of myself. Higher expections can bring growth. But I'm not sure how much I should expect from my children. Too low can stun their potential, while too high will be discouraging. Praying for wisdom is a must for parents!

Not Our Choice to Make

2007-01-22T21:50:00.000-08:00

It's the 34th anniversary of the Roe vs. Wade decision that legalized abortion. I have so much to say on this issue but I'd keep it short (relatively) this time.

I've yet to find an remotely strong argument against life begins at conception.

It's not about women's right. It's not about telling women what do to with their bodies. It's not about limiting women's choices. It's about life that's totally different from the women's own. The unborn baby/fetus has a different DNA right from the beginning.

I do want to extend sympathies to those who got pregnant by means they didn't consent. However, two wrongs don't make a right.

The government should increase awareness on support for unwanted pregnant women (and men). The public, including teens and children, should be educated on the development of babies inside the mother's womb. And teaching on taking responsibility on your own actions will help too.

I had an ultrasound on my second baby at 9 weeks after conception. And I saw AND heard his heartbeat. At 9 WEEKS ONLY! Stopping that heartbeat intentionally is anything but murder is really beyond me.

Wow! They're In!

2007-01-21T22:50:00.000-08:00

(Tribune photo by Jim Prisching)I'm happy for them, really. My hubby is so excited. I saw some photos of fans and wow, so devoted. But the real test of devotion is who's going to fork out big $$ to fly to Miami for the game. I read that tickets to the game alone will cost thousands of $$.

By the way, quit the tradition of pouring tubs of drinks on the coach already. Someone can get very sick.

AAAAAH! She's In!

2007-01-21T22:17:00.000-08:00

First of all, I don't agree with her views on social issues, and possibly more when I have time to check out her positions.

Is it just me or does she often appears arrogant and mean? She's a very smart lady, no doubt about it. But you can display your intelligence and confidence without appearing arrogant, a la Ms. Condoleezza Rice. Now there's a smart, confident AND cool and collected lady I'd like to see continue working in the White House.

It'd be interesting to see how Hillary and her spin doctors try to soften her image during her campaign.

I have a feeling the '08 Presidential election is going to be a "who'll-do-the-least-damage type of vote". Yikes.

The Best Part of Waking Up...

2007-01-20T17:20:00.000-08:00

...is cat poop in your cup?

Apparently for as high as $400 a pound, you can buy a delicacy coffee called Kopi Luwak. It's made from coffee beans that has been eaten by some cat-like animal. When they come out from the other end, humans collect and process them.

I'm not kidding. Check it out.

Am I a “Christian?”

2007-01-19T23:27:00.000-08:00

I'm cautious in calling myself "Christian". Unfortunately, there are people that associate that with people who hold signs that say "God hates homosexuals", or it reminds them of their hypocritical uncle who go to church on Sundays but lies and cheats.

And then there're also people that call themselves "Christians", but what they believe or do is nowhere near what the Bible teaches.

Since the word "Christ" is in the word "Christian", obviously being Christians has everything to do with Christ. I would define a Christian as a disciple/follower of Jesus Christ.

So what does that entail?

According to Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary, "follow" can be to engage in as a calling or way of life, to be or act in accordance with and to accept as authority.

So to be a disciple/follower of Jesus Christ, I believe one has to:

Study His words/work to grow in knowledge of Him. (i.e. the Bible)
Grow a personal relationship with Him. (prayers, not only know God in your head as intellectual knowledge, but know Him in your heart as well)
Do what your Lord says, regardless of how you feel.

Of course the above points will need further dissection. The fun has just begun.

Definitions

2007-01-19T20:46:00.000-08:00

Different people interpret different words or phrases differently, since our experiences shape how we view so many things. I believe this is one of the major causes of miscommunications. For example, person A tells person B "I'll call you SOON." For person A, "soon" means a few days, while person B's version of "soon" is a few hours. Miscommunications often lead to conflicts.

I'm cautious in using words that often have different meanings for different people. Exploring how I define things is important for me, it helps me to know clearly what I believe and why I believe them. It also helps to avoid being misunderstood.

I'd post them as I tackle them.

Blink

2007-01-15T20:47:00.000-08:00

Today is one of those days when all of a sudden my 2-year-old boy seems much much older than, like, two days ago. I didn't realize how tall he became, nor how well he can talk. How did I miss them? I guess I'd better never blink again.

What're Your Distractions?

2007-01-15T14:55:00.000-08:00

(Tribune photo by Jim Prisching)It's the football playoff season. My husband is excited to have his team going for another round. If they win one more game they'll be going to Superbowl.

I'm no sports fan, but I do enjoy watching a game or two occasionally. I can't quite understand how some people can live and breath sports. They take the results of games personally, even though they are not employed by or associated with the team in any way. Is it because they have nothing else in their life that is as exciting? Is it because they need escapes from their daily life so much and so badly? Do they have any other people or causes that they can root for as much as "their" team? Unless you or someone you know work for the team, I think sports are really just entertainment. It's really just a game. Chill out.

But it's not just sports. It can be any hobby. Some people spend lots of time, money and energy on cars, and I spend way too much money on cameras and too much time on the internet. All these are fun and fine, as long as they don't interfere with nor distract us from our real purpose in life, since even the best photo ever of my kids has no eternal value.

Now you DO know what your purpose in life are, don't you? (Surprise! It's not about you!)

Moo

2007-01-12T20:27:00.000-08:00

I realized that not only I feed my kids. I, myself, is a food item. Part of me, anyway.

While some days I feel like a cow, I think nursing is the greatest idea for new mothers. It provides food for the baby, strengthens the mother-baby bond, and it's convenient and FREE! Whoa, God thought of EVERYTHING.

And did I mentioned it's FREE?

Winter Wonderland...

2007-01-11T22:27:00.000-08:00

...in the Seattle area? While the East coast is warm and toasty?

I remember one early morning in my college days in Iowa, I was walking home from one of my "photo marathon" in the darkroom. It was a twenty-minute walk and the snow was just starting to fall. All was still and quiet except for a few city workers. I have yet to re-experience the beauty and serenity of that morning in the snow.

The Apple Love Fest

2007-01-11T14:32:00.000-08:00

I'm not tech-savvy enough to be a geek, but "woooo-ing" and "ahhhhh-ing" while watching the MacWorld Keynote Address should put me closer to become one, right?

The Death of Saddam

2007-01-06T22:41:00.000-08:00

I know this is old news, but there're thoughts that I need to get out of my system.

The death of Saddam. Does he deserve it? I'm pretty sure. Is it going to make a difference in the development of peace and democracy in Iraq and other Middle East countries? Probably not, at least not in the near future.

So what does this accomplish? For one thing, he needs to pay his penalty for his order of torturing and killing of thousands of people. Is his penalty fits the crime? Well, his death is probably less painful than many of his victims, however, I don't think the justice system should get down to his level.

There're people in the world that rejoice in his execution. I'm not one of them. I think his life is a tragedy. And for people who filmed, posted, and watched his execution, what you did make me sick.

I'm sad by the whole thing. I'm sad by what Saddam has done. I'm sad for the people and countries that he so ruthlessly destroyed. I'm sad that there are so much darkness in his life. I'm sad for a life that lives constantly under fear for betrayal. I'm sad for a life that is defined by insatiable appetite for absolute power and hate. I'm sad for the fact that real evil exists in this world. I'm fearful for him for what God's wrath has installed for him.

I wonder if he ever truly loved someone more than he loved power. I wonder if he was born in a different family, or if he has a different life circumstances if he'd be different. I wonder if anyone of us was put in his situation, if we'd turn out the same as he did.

I know "sin" is the correct, but very general answer of why he did what he did. But I'm eager to search for some other answers so that I can believe there's good even in a person like Saddam. I wonder what God's purpose for him was, and how does that going to fit in the whole picture of the human history.

With these thoughts written, my mind is now a little less crowded. A few more adoring looks at my sleeping sweet baby boy and I'll be back to my usual cheerful mood.

Wasting Time

2007-01-06T13:27:00.000-08:00

I wonder before the invention of the television, internet and video games, what people waste time doing. Since we don't have a TV, (one of the best decisions we made!) browsing the internet has been my way of flushing valuable time away. I hope I'm at least learning something in the process. By the way, do you know it takes glass bottles 1 million years to biodegrade? And with plastic soda bottles, apparently they almost never will. See? These are the things I'd otherwise never knew if not for my time on the internet.

Job 1-2

2007-01-03T20:31:00.000-08:00

My husband and I want to read through the whole Bible together in 2007. Today's reading is Job chapter 1-2.

The book of Job probably one of the books of the Bible that generates most questions. The premise is basically about this righteous man Job, and Satan tempted him by destroying everything he had, even his children, and inflicted horrible diseases on him. Yet Job remained godly and never said a bad word about God, even as his wife said to him, "curse God and die!" Wow.

The questions/debates for this book generally involves God's versus Satan's part in human suffering. Though I read Job before, I look forward to read it again and see what God wants to teach/show me this time.

The verse that stands out to me today is what Job said after he learnt that he lost all his processions and children:

And he said, "I came from my mother's womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.” Job 1:21 (English Standard Version)

I think one of the most useful things to know in life is that God's the giver of all good things, and the God of the universe has every right to take away whatever he has given to us, for whatever His purpose is. "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose" Romans 8:28 (ESV) It doesn't make losses easier, nor lessen the suffering. It does, however, gives us hope and peace to carry on.

Only a parent would appreciate...

2007-01-03T19:43:00.000-08:00

... the sound of a baby pooping. As a nursing mother, I wonder if my 2-month-old is eating enough. So when I hear him poop, I get reassured that there has to be input in order to have output, plus I'd know that his digestive system is working!

Back to "normal"?

2007-01-02T19:42:00.000-08:00

So today comes January 2nd, the day when most people go back to work. While I'm sure it's wonderful for most people during the span of holiday season from Thanksgiving to New Year, to spend times with family and friends, eat big meals and party, it's kind of a relief to go back to the routine.

Today would be a good day to celebrate Christ's birth, instead of December 25th. While I love all the festivities of Christmas: the decorations, the gatherings, the songs, the gifts exchanges, even the cheesiest Christmas sweaters, they're too much distractions from the true meaning of Christmas. If Christians pick another day to celebrate Christ's birth, and on that day, we'd worship, pray and meditate, then on December 25th everyone can say all the "happy holidays" they want. Even "merry Christmas" sounds shallow to me. I don't recall in the Bible Paul greeting his fellow Christians "merry" nor "happy." How about wishing each other peace and joy?

Not that I can rid Christmas off my mind any time soon. My 2-year-old, in all his cuteness, still belts out " O Come, all ye Faithful" everyday.

A New Year Resolution

2007-01-01T09:00:00.000-08:00

While I'm not sure about the purpose (why wait till a new year to make resolutions?) and effectiveness (how many years I've resolute to work out?) of new year resolutions, it does kind of give a stonger sense of a new beginning. So here I am, joining the ever growing trait of babbling to virually nobody. Hopefully a year from now, as I look back my entries, I can thank God for a year of growth, becoming a closer follower of Jesus Christ, a better servant for God, a more decent human being.