My Air Pianist

Whose 4-year-old boy would throw a big fit because he fell asleep in the van and missed listening to Beethoven's CD? Well, mine would. And I don't know any other child who would dash to the CD player once we got home to jam to Sonata Pathétique, playing air piano and trying to bounce his hair, imitating his favorite pianist. Bravo my boy. Bravo.

The Sounds of Life

One of the activities I like to do with my boys is to have them close their eyes and identify the sounds they hear. According to some parenting books it's supposed to heighten their sensory or something like that. I'd say it's a good way to have them be quiet for a few moments.

So one day I tried the exercise myself. I heard the washing machine, dishwasher, the CD player cranking up music so loud I bet the neighbors from 3 blocks away can hear it, the boys banging (I mean drumming) the life out of any surface with any object remotely shaped like a stick, while belting out a medley of tunes at the top of their lungs.

Those are the sounds of home, of life. And what a blessed life this is. Even though we'll probably all go deaf within 5 years.

A Good Question

My 3.5-year-old son:

"How do you put hair on your armpit?"

Thank goodness he was talking to my husband, not me.

No Laughing!

Recently, my three-year-old son has been talking non-stop:

Are your teeth falling out?

No honey.

Because you brush your teeth?

Yes, I brush them every night.

I brush them every night too!

That's great honey.

If you eat sugar, you have to brush your teeth so your teeth won't fall out!

That's why we don't eat sugary food.

Only once in a while.

That's right. Only once in a while.

The way he is so serious about what he says is just super cute. But I have to remind myself I can't laugh because he'd perceive as me laughing at him.

A friend's mom laughed when overhearing her pouring her heart out with her sister. It took her a long time before she trusted her again, even she was only 12. I remember a teacher in high school, when I told her teenagers can have our share of troubles too, she snickered. And right there and then, I lost ALL respect for her.

Of course it doesn't mean I can't laugh when I share them with my husband after they fall asleep at night!

You Can Lead a Horse to the Water...

Never before a baby can be so similar to a odd-toed ungulate mammal than my 15-month old. Against my instinct, I caved into pressure and pushed solid food on him before he was ready. So my strong-willed child clamped up for months and had very low weight gain. Of course we got worried and pushed him harder. It wasn't until a few weeks ago when we stopped pressuring him, and now for the first time in his life he discovered the joy of eating solid food and his weight is much more satisfactory. Whew!

So at this tender young age, he is already teaching us that he is his own person, not an extension of us. That is so annoying. I want to control what, when and how much he eats, what his interests and beliefs are. I want to pick his wife for him (let's bring back arranged marriage!), choose his career, and arrange the house a few blocks from us for him to live. Since all these probably won't happen, all I can do is to do the best I can to teach and give him the resource for wisdom. And to be on my kneels everyday to pray for God's touch on his heart.

I guess I should be thankful for this lesson and practice in letting go, and trust that ultimately he (and all of us) is in God's hands. So when he finally move out to be on his own, hopefully I won't be grabbing onto his heels screaming, "my baby!"

The neighbors would think I'm so weird.

The Numbing Machine

I have a pile of unfinished "draft" blog entries that never got posted. One of them is about television and young children. Then I found this post, which approached this subject with more adequateness and articulation than I can ever muster. So here's the link:

http://www.strangelandblog.com/2007/08/08/young-minds/

Mothers' Designer

Once again, I am amazed.

The design of the relationship between mothers and their children are brilliant. I'm amazed at how God leads mothers to instantly fall in love with their newborns, and how He provides them with milk, so the babies can eat AND bond at the same time. How efficient is that! And how babies feel most secure as they navigate the world in their mothers' arms. As rewards for the sleep-deprived, God brings on those sweet baby smiles to melt our hearts.

Even after they've grown into toddlers, they remain cute to minimize our head-banging on the wall, when for the nineteenth time, they insist on pouring the milk themselves and end up pouring half a gallon of it on the floor.

On this Mother's Day (and everyday after), let's remember the creator of mothers and children, and give Him the praise and worship He so deserve.

Scary Rhymes

I'm surprised by how many popular nursery rhymes and songs have questionable content. The obvious one is the nightmare inducing Rock-a-Bye Baby:

Rock-a-bye baby, in the treetop
When the wind blows, the cradle will rock
When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall
And down will come baby, cradle and all

Then we have Hush Little Baby, perfect for raising materialistic children:

Hush, little baby, don't say a word,
Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird.
And if that mockingbird don't sing,
Mama's going to buy you a diamond ring.

To teach baby boys how to treat their future wife, we have Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater:

Peter Peter pumpkin eater,
Had a wife and couldn't keep her!
He put her in a pumpkin shell,
And there he kept her very well!

While I doubt reading or singing the above rhymes to babies will damage them mentally nor emotionally, I'm not taking any chances. I'm sticking with Wheels on the Bus, it's my son's favorite anyway. Although it might damage me mentally if I have to continue singing it 50 times a day.

My Snapshots

Today I took my baby C.F. for his six-month check up. In the doctor's office, his two-year-old brother C.S. behaved like a perfect child. He waited patiently and quietly, even threw in a few kisses for his brother to woo the nurses. The staff was impressed. And I was proud. Not only of my son, but of my own parenting.

Ten minutes later in the parking lot, everything changed. The baby was crying hard, C.S. was screaming and refused to get into the car. I noticed an older man watching, silently judging me, I'm sure.

If you randomly take snapshots of my day, each one can draw a very different assumption of what kind of a mother I am. Snapshots don't tell the whole story. But I too have times when I subconsciously make snapshots judgements. They can be based on all sorts of presumptions and stereotypes. A mom giving candies to her children in a grocery store? Bad mother. Men checking their Blackberries on weekends? Workaholics. Children screaming in the parking lot? Can't their mother control her own children? Wait, that was me.

"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?" Matthew 7:3

Parenting the "God's Way?"

There are many controversies on parenting issues, even within the Christian circles. I always get wary when books claim their way of parenting is the "God's way", and being dogmatic about it rather than presenting it as wisdom. I believe the Bible has given us principles on parenting, which is to discipline, guide and love them. But applications can vary from culture to culture, family to family and child to child.

The quote I recently found that is most useful is from Debi Pearl. Ironically, I disagree with many of her ideas. On breastfeeding and co-sleeping, she wrote on her web site:

"Learn all you can from all points of view and then throw it all out and do what works best for you. Relax. Don’t chose sides and fight it out. It is not Bible doctrine. In departing from someone’s system you need not feel guilt or pride."

I like to add that parenting should be done on our knees, praying constantly for wisdom for parenting, and regeneration for our children. Because while we can modify behaviors, true transformation can only come from the Holy Spirit.

Blink

Today is one of those days when all of a sudden my 2-year-old boy seems much much older than, like, two days ago. I didn't realize how tall he became, nor how well he can talk. How did I miss them? I guess I'd better never blink again.

Moo

I realized that not only I feed my kids. I, myself, is a food item. Part of me, anyway.

While some days I feel like a cow, I think nursing is the greatest idea for new mothers. It provides food for the baby, strengthens the mother-baby bond, and it's convenient and FREE! Whoa, God thought of EVERYTHING.

And did I mentioned it's FREE?

Only a parent would appreciate...

... the sound of a baby pooping. As a nursing mother, I wonder if my 2-month-old is eating enough. So when I hear him poop, I get reassured that there has to be input in order to have output, plus I'd know that his digestive system is working!