Scary Rhymes

I'm surprised by how many popular nursery rhymes and songs have questionable content. The obvious one is the nightmare inducing Rock-a-Bye Baby:

Rock-a-bye baby, in the treetop
When the wind blows, the cradle will rock
When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall
And down will come baby, cradle and all

Then we have Hush Little Baby, perfect for raising materialistic children:

Hush, little baby, don't say a word,
Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird.
And if that mockingbird don't sing,
Mama's going to buy you a diamond ring.

To teach baby boys how to treat their future wife, we have Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater:

Peter Peter pumpkin eater,
Had a wife and couldn't keep her!
He put her in a pumpkin shell,
And there he kept her very well!

While I doubt reading or singing the above rhymes to babies will damage them mentally nor emotionally, I'm not taking any chances. I'm sticking with Wheels on the Bus, it's my son's favorite anyway. Although it might damage me mentally if I have to continue singing it 50 times a day.

My Snapshots

Today I took my baby C.F. for his six-month check up. In the doctor's office, his two-year-old brother C.S. behaved like a perfect child. He waited patiently and quietly, even threw in a few kisses for his brother to woo the nurses. The staff was impressed. And I was proud. Not only of my son, but of my own parenting.

Ten minutes later in the parking lot, everything changed. The baby was crying hard, C.S. was screaming and refused to get into the car. I noticed an older man watching, silently judging me, I'm sure.

If you randomly take snapshots of my day, each one can draw a very different assumption of what kind of a mother I am. Snapshots don't tell the whole story. But I too have times when I subconsciously make snapshots judgements. They can be based on all sorts of presumptions and stereotypes. A mom giving candies to her children in a grocery store? Bad mother. Men checking their Blackberries on weekends? Workaholics. Children screaming in the parking lot? Can't their mother control her own children? Wait, that was me.

"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?" Matthew 7:3

On Forgiveness

According to some friends that recently celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary, one of the most important elements in their long happy marriage is forgiveness.

How wise is that! As imperfect human beings, in all our relationships, sooner or later, we're all going to wrong and be wronged. There can be no healthy relationships without forgiveness.

Forgiveness is hard to give. Sometimes hold out on forgiving is a revenge, to hurt the ones who hurt us. Sometimes it is self preservation, as forgiving would seem like we're taken advantage of. Sometimes it is our way to enforce justice, as we decide whether the offender deserve our forgiveness.

The truth is, forgiving is less about us and the offender, but much more about us and God. Jesus illustrated it perfectly in Matthew 18:23-35, about a man whose debt was forgiven greatly, but turned around and harshly dealt with one who owe him much less. We all have sinned greatly against the most Holy God, and yet He offers forgiveness through His son Jesus Christ. It is only right that we forgive others as well.

Forgiving is to cease resentment. It doesn't mean absorbing the offender's responsibility. It's not a feeling, it's a decision. It's given unconditionally. It's not contingent on the offender's apology nor repentance. It's an act of love. It's being obedient to God. It heals and reconciles. It doesn't have a quantity limit, even if it's the 849 times he left his shoes all over the house.

"Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors." Matthew 6:12

Whole Again

Today, on a rare outing to the grocery store by myself, I put in Jennifer Knapp's CD Lay It Down. It was a nice change from the classical music and children's songs we listen to at home.

It gave me a lump in my throat, as I heard the song Whole Again, the part that goes:

If I give my life
If I lay it down
Can you turn this life around
Can I be made clean by this offering of my soul
Can I be made whole again?

In the wake of the Virginia Tech tragedy, this song reminds me of the hurt and brokenness that we all experience to different degrees. Whether it was caused by sins of our own or others. Whether it happened in the past, present or future.

But there's hope. When we confess to God that we can't do this life by our own power and strength, when we surrender to God and ask Him to take over our lives, He will give us rest, heal us and yes, He will make us whole again.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matt. 11:28-30

Parenting the "God's Way?"

There are many controversies on parenting issues, even within the Christian circles. I always get wary when books claim their way of parenting is the "God's way", and being dogmatic about it rather than presenting it as wisdom. I believe the Bible has given us principles on parenting, which is to discipline, guide and love them. But applications can vary from culture to culture, family to family and child to child.

The quote I recently found that is most useful is from Debi Pearl. Ironically, I disagree with many of her ideas. On breastfeeding and co-sleeping, she wrote on her web site:

"Learn all you can from all points of view and then throw it all out and do what works best for you. Relax. Don’t chose sides and fight it out. It is not Bible doctrine. In departing from someone’s system you need not feel guilt or pride."

I like to add that parenting should be done on our knees, praying constantly for wisdom for parenting, and regeneration for our children. Because while we can modify behaviors, true transformation can only come from the Holy Spirit.

Pink and Blue

The other day I was talking away to my husband, who was trying his best not to fall asleep. All of a sudden his face light up and exclaimed:

"Oh wow! You're going pink on me!"

Say what? He was referring to the video marriage conference we went to, Love and Respect. On the topic of how men and women operate differently, the speaker talked about how women (pink) sometimes talk in spiderweb. That is when we start talking about a point, but takes lots of detours before finishing it. (watch the video, it's hilarious!) Boy! I was totally doing that!

The major points of the conference:
• Men and women operate very differently.
• A wife needs to feel love and a husband needs to feel respect.
• Without love she reacts without respect, and without respect he reacts without love, hence the Crazy Cycle.
• Both love and respect should be given unconditionally.
• Whoever is more mature should be the one to break the Crazy Cycle.

I had a few "a-ha!" moments at this conference, and while this theory will not save every marriage, I believe it can change many for the better. I personally have witnessed how the Crazy Cycle can destroy a marriage, leaving both parties bitter, angry and hurt.

I still "spiderweb" when I talk, but I'm more aware of it now.

Farewell, Johnny Hart!

From John Deering, editorial cartoonist

It's Been a While...

...but here's a few things from chapter 3 of The Holiness of God by R.C. Sproul, plus research I've done to confirm the information.

• The word "holy" in Hebrew is kadosh. Its primary meaning is "to set apart."
• God is absolutely above and beyond us.
• Holy is not just one of God's attribute. Holy is God. Everything God has and do is holy. On the same thought, NOTHING is holy without God's consecrating. To call anything else holy is idolatry, since it'd give common things the awe, respect, worship and adoration that only God rightly deserves.

An interesting information I found, is that orthodox Jews are taught to revere God so much that they avoid writing the full name of God because of the risk that it might later be accidentally defaced. What a big contrast to the present day, when people freely use God's names in vain.